HEALING THE "INNER CHILD"
So I found this photo of mine taken in 2008. In college, I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa...
Looking back, I was so skinny here, but at the time, I really thought that I was "fat" because photographers and agents told me so. I was always told to "lose weight".
I was so insecure about myself because I was a fat kid.
Araw-araw, tawag saken ng mga kalaro ko nung bata pa ko, "baboy" daw ako.
When I was 18, each and everyday,
I measured my waist and hips, and checked myself on the weighing scale
so that I would know if I was eating "too much".
I even obsessed about the nutritional labels in the crackers I ate.
I starved myself and drank 4 cups of coffee a day instead just to "feel alive".
I did 1hr cardio every morning and 2hrs weight lifting at night.
Sanay na ako sa araw araw nasasabihan ng
"ay tumaba ka",
"you're a fake beauty",
at kung anu-ano pang mga panlalait.
One of my guy classmates in college even told me,
"meron bang model na mataba?!?" when I mentioned that I was going to casting calls.
Well, what can I say,
"I ate ad hominems for breakfast."
I was wondering why I had to experience bullying and suffer from body dysmorphia.
I was a victim, but I had also been a "villain".
Underneath the "egoistic" facade, there was a wounded fat kid within.
Astrologically, I had my Moon conjunct South Node in Leo, square my Pluto conjunct Lilith in Scorpio,
which has the theme of power struggles, ego death and transformation, etc.
It took lots of shadow work to overcome these negative thoughts
about my body and release the hatred I have towards people.
This experience was humbling and yet, it made my character stronger.
Now, 3 pregnancies and caesarean sections later, I became 40lbs overweight,
still healing from hypothyroidism and diastasis recti, I am doing medication and therapy for them.
Ironically, I feel more confident about who I am now compared to before.
But here's one thing I know:
The fat kid me,
the skinny model me,
the overweight mom me
they are all equally beautiful in their own ways.
They are all me - always evolving, growing, and improving in this rollercoaster ride of my present incarnation.
It is about time that we stop putting our power in other people's hands, and start giving love to our selves.
Give your body the appreciation, love, care, and gratefulness that it deserves.
June 13, 2022
#SelfLove #Throwback #Acceptance
One of my students asked,
Q: Ms. Krish what is the strongest protection against psychic attacks and kulam? Do talismans work?
A: Faith in God Creator, the Almighty. Spiritual stamina made of healthy boundaries love, light, and compassion. Yes, talismans can help BUT you should not be dependent on it. Kasi what if nawala yan, pano ka na?
A MAGICIAN'S STRENGTH IS MEASURED WHEN S/HE CAN LIVE HIS/HER LIFE WITHOUT BEING DEPENDENT ON ANY TOOLS.
Ang negative energy ay hindi kakapit kung walang kakapitan.
Hindi yan makakapenetrate sa aura mo if walang butas to begin with.
If you are vibrating on a high frequency, low energies will be repelled.
If you fight negative energy with negativity, more negativity will spread.
But if you send it back with forgiveness and detachment, the negativity will be neutralized.
Ano ba ang nakakabutas dyan?
Too much pride.
Lack of love for the self.
No compassion for everyone.
So what is the solution?
Build a strong relationship with God.
Be a good person. Do not harm others who are not doing anything to you.
Use discernment, don't fight battles that aren't yours. Wag sumawsaw sa issue ng iba.
In terms of esoterics, learn clearing, cleansing, grounding, shielding, and energy healing.
Heal yourself in all aspects. Focus on inner work.
Remember the light inside of you, that you are God's creation, you are a vessel of love itself,
nakakalimutan lang natin kasi kaya tayo natatakot.
“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.”
1 Corinthians 10:31
Love. Peace. Faith.
Justice will be given where it is due.
Wanna learn the basics of energy healing?
Enroll in my "REIKI LEVEL 1 and INTRO TO INNER WORK CLASS" this March 2022.
Register here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1mpCLwdXSAkA_anSgUsV_MR7vVMn4zn331LZW1b1zIM8/edit
SHADOW WORK: WHAT IS THE REAL INTENTION BEHIND OUR WORDS AND ACTIONS?
Being spiritual is more than just acquiring a Higher knowledge or preaching about it. It is not about being better than others, it is about learning life lessons and soul evolution, and being one with God.
Embodying the spirit of what you preach is important. Being authentic is crucial, yes.
But the delivery of our words is equally important too.
Yeah it is okay to not take personally other people's opinion about you, but as the writer of Spiderman said, "with greater power comes bigger responsibilities".
Are we responsible with our actions?
Are we mindful of the impact of what we say?
Remember, we are all One, and our energy will affect someone one way or another.
Is the delivery of our message gonna help others be better, or not?
Now it depends on your perception.
Not every truth should be delivered with an offensive attack (unless you are being attacked imho, lol), we can still be honest and firm, yet kind.
Saying all this from experience, I used to have an overactive throat chakra. I used to be brutally blunt, sharing ugly truths to other people just because.
Then as I progress in my spiritual journey, I realized that one of the reasons why I expressed myself the way I did was because I had so much anger and frustration inside of me that I want others to feel it too. A trigger if I may say.
I used to spread hatred unconsciously.
It's a heart chakra blockage.
Those who liked what I used to say are also those who are drawn by drama. Drama queens attract dramatic people. It was toxic.
By being aware of that, I knew I had to make big changes. And that would include changing the way that I express myself, being mindful of my intention.
People will either like it or not.
I leave it up to them.
Part of "accountability" is mindfulness of your behavior, your statements, and managing your emotions.
When you get to the point of "responding" instead of "reacting" when you are "triggered" by someone, then you are on the right path.
After everything is said and done, ask
"What is your intention? What is the "why" behind your actions and words?"
Can we be honest about that?
Food for thought... 🤔😶
THOUGHTS ON FRENEMIES & COMPETITION
Have you ever experienced having power struggles with fellow women in friendships? Did issues of jealousy and envy became one of the reasons why the friendship failed? When bitterness overcomes platonic love, things can get bleak. Betrayal is heart-shattering and can make you have trust issues.
If you have experienced this theme in your friendships, I feel you. Natally, I got Pluto (the planet of power and transformation) conjunct Lilith (raw feminine energy) effects.... in the 11th House (of friendships and social life). Those who understand the language of astrology got this.
In this article, I will be coming from the space of love and solutions. Not of hatred and condescension.
I have had my share of friendships that went awry because of betrayal. Some women whom I thought were my friends ended up bashing me and trash talking behind my back. Unnecessary drama of being the center of gossips and having my posts being screenshotted then laughed at were quite common.
In this case, if I will dwell on the victim-mentality, nothing will be solved anyway. So I chose to heal myself and trust that they will get their own karma.
I won't say that I was perfect and didn't do anything wrong. When your intentions are good, the truth will still come out anyway.
Remember, we mirror each other in one form of another. And until you realize this, the toxic cycle will continue on and on.
Lesson for me is to accept this, that there will always be people who won't like me, and rise above it through discernment. Using my intuition to decipher whom I can trust.... or not.
When you do, you'll go full circle.
Now here is an unpopular opinion, but I will say it anyway...
You cannot control others but you can manage yourself. The art of detachment is about accepting which things you just need to surrender and not worry about anymore.
When a girl "friend" is being competetive unnecessarily, establish healthy boundaries. You may communicate properly and discuss what is going on. But if all you get is dishonesty, do not play the game they're playing. Detach.
Ask "what is the lesson behind this experience?"
Identify what it is within you that is triggered by them. Usually what triggers them could also be what triggers you. There is a mirror there, you see.
If you are attracting overly competetive people, perhaps you are also very competetive but you haven't admitted it yet? If you are attracting envious people, perhaps you also have a jealousy shadow within you that you haven't healed yet.
Whatever is triggering you, find that.
Every negative experience has a chance to be healed through therapy and also... Inner Work.
It ain't easy, but necessary.
Water represents our emotions while the cup or chalice symbolizes our love bank.
In life, we will experience a cycle of highs and lows, with our sense of self-love going up or down. It is normal. We learn the most important lessons during the hardest times. Sometimes we cannot really help how we are going to feel in a day because external factors vary.
What we gotta remember is that, no matter what emotion we are feeling, it is okay to acknowledge it and ask ourselves what is it that is triggering us. Why am I feeling sad right now? Why am I getting angry of what s/he said? What wounds were triggered because of this event?
It is OK not to be ok, to be angry or sad, we cannot be "positive" all the time. We are only human.
With emotional awareness and mindfulness, we will not be a slave to our emotions and it will not consume us. Instead, we can use them as catalyst to turn things around for the better, to get to know ourselves well, to speak up against bullying, and even to achieve justice that we seek.
When we allow ourselves to feel our emotions, it is easier to fill our cup with goodness, empty it out when we get contaminated with bitterness, and refill it again with love and happiness. And the cycle goes on and on.
SELF-LOVE IS KEY TO LIFE.
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
Love makes the world go round, but self-love is where it starts!
It is important in all aspects of life yet it is especially important to your relationship. The first stop on the road to romance is you. It is honoring and loving oneself that opens the door for another to truly do the same.
- Krisheela Rai
Be aware of your connection to the universe. Live with the awareness that everything you are and everything you do directly or indirectly affects everything and everyone around you.
Small or big, what you choose to do can alter the course or destiny of living or non-living things that come your way.
As you realize this, you will take more responsibility for your actions and influence, and will never take spiritual things lightly.
When your energy is vibrating on a higher frequency, your "light" acts as a "mirror" that reflects others' "energies" - which includes their own light... and shadows.
When their shadows are triggered upon interacting with you, that is when they project their insecurities or hatred from themselves towards you.
In that case, there is nothing that you can do for them, you can't control how others would react, but you can choose to detach, shield, and put on healthy boundaries. It isn't your job to heal everybody - it is every person's responsibility to fix themselves. Sometimes you can't meddle because they gotta learn their own lessons.
- Krisheela Rai
MY EXPERIENCE ON PLUTO AND POWER PLAYS
In Astrology, Pluto is known as "The Shadow Planet" that represents Death & Rebirth, Changes and Transformation. It is ruled by Scorpio, and it rules the 8th house in the Natal Chart.
Pluto unveils the hidden: secrets, sex and intimacy, shared resources, power, slow changes, and endings. Pluto is about self-empowerment and evolution. Pluto's energy will put you to your breaking point because you can sustain it.
People with strongly-aspected Plutonian energies natally may have really intense experiences such as power struggles happening in the house where it sits in their astrological birth chart. Other people may try to overpower the native so the manipulator will benefit from their strengths.
In this case, the Plutonian native will have to learn to start standing up for themselves and speaking up when their healthy boundaries are being disrespected.
It's either these circumstances break them or make them.
But what's nice about Pluto is that it gives you POWER to change and transform, to learn and unlearn, to experience ego death and rise from the ashes like the phoenix you are.
When someone has a strong Plutonian energy in their birth chart, power plays will always be present in their lives every now and then. That's just the way it is.
If you happen to be one, you can either learn how to rise above this experience and come out stronger than ever OR you can be chaotic.
One thing is for sure, you can never truly own a PLUTONIAN. They will help you, empower you, and support you when you need them. Betray them and God knows what they will do. They will never be anyone else's pawn who will follow everything other people say.
Plutonians' minds are strong and spirits resilient.
- Krish Rai
Dec 18, 2021
SAGITTARIUS NEW MOON
SOLAR ECLIPSE - CHANNELED MESSAGE
Reminder Dearest Ones,
You are on Earth, ground yourself.
Your assignment is here, BE PRESENT!!!
Who you are right now, what you do on a daily basis,
basically how you live your life, and fulfill your purpose is what is most important.
Don't lose yourself and be obsessed about who you were in a past life, or which star system you came from, or whoever's fractal you got there. Whether you were one of the royals or a poor man, or a powerful man or a commoner, or whatever title you had in a past life, is NOT the main point of your life right now.
Don't get confused on those!
Learning about your Soul Origin is great for it gives you a clue on what your Earthly task should be, you realize your potentials again, you heal what needs to be healed...
And because of that, you once again become aligned with the Divine...
But DO NOT use that for superiority complex!
If the crown chakra is overactive to the point that you use spirituality as an escapism,
or worse, you feel that being "more spiritual" makes you better than other people,
you won't be able to do your mission properly here on Earth!
Before you focus on ascension,
you gotta master descension...
Or else you'll get your head lost in the clouds.
You're a Starseed?
Now master grounding!
Be present in Earth's reality.
With tough love,
Dec 5, 2020
"Many of us have past lives, we are here to learn the lessons and truths about those lives in which we did not in the Past. We have Soul Contracts made with others to help us on this Journey and we very often will recognize them coming into our life by the way it feels." - Cheryl Tessari
Last Full Moon in Aries, I had a past life regression session from my friend Meg . It was interesting for I was guided to access past lives without much effort. I do Akashic Soul Readings with Karmic Clearing for myself and others too but that was more psychically draining for it requires mooooooore energy to do so. If interested, CLICK HERE.
First intention was to see my "starseed" life.
I saw a "monad" a highest self, very scientific, technologically advanced, grey human figure silhouette in a dark room full of computers with 7-8 pumping stuff on his/her head, all represents different parts of who I am. 8 different souls of me scattered in different dimensions (each dimension has different time lines of reincarnation).
I also saw a "tesseract-like" place. On the top was a magnanimous purple mountain standing high. In the middle was an empty space where the QUANTUM STRINGS are located. And below was another mountain mirroring the mountain above, only it was pointing downwards. The Quantum Strings were billions or even trillions of it. I also saw other souls in light forms/ pure energy/ consciousness, floating around like moving stars if I am making any sense. You have the choice where you want to go, all you need to do is touch the string then it will bring you to a certain timeline in a certain dimension. Each string is a dimension and each place represents a timeline. So yes there were millions of different multiverses and dimensions.
Here below looks similar to what I saw, very different but in a way, kinda close in terms of concept. I'll try to paint it in the future once I get the time. :D
Pleiadian self showed up. She has bluish luminous skin wearing white boots with golden edges and flowy light colored clothes. Her long dirty blonde hair was tied in a ponytail, yet I only saw a blurry face. She was floating in a 3rd dimensional world's kitchen inside a house, typical old mundane times.
I saw a little boy with afro hair, black boy, his skin color brown, age 6-8 approximately. I floated up the stairs on the left, there was a room with an open door, inside was a black woman practicing herb magick.
The Pleiadian self went inside of her.
She was also me.
I'm now inside her body.
The woman was sitting in front of a desk, window facing the left side, room was like an attic. There were books on the table as well as jars and herbs. On the right side was a double size bed, on it was a grimoire.
When I opened it, there were photos of a demon per page. There were written incantations on how to call upon them but I couldn't read it with my current consciousness as a "Filipino" if that makes any sense. She was living in New Orleans on the late 1800s, working as a hoodoo practitioner.
I went back to, around the 1400s era, wherein I was a black woman with her hands tied being sold in the slave trade to the Caucasian masters. I had a husband and a child, a son age 8 below and we were all "bought" by one family. The room was dark, there was a cauldron wherein soup was being cooked.
The husband and wife looked at each other looking like a plot has been made.
They gave the soup to an old Caucasian couple, after consuming it, they suddenly died. They did it for the Masters weren't nice to them, they were abusive. I saw that they owned the house wherein they used to work for afterwards. I also saw in my vision that they left the gate of the house. She was probably a voodoo practitioner of some sort.
Interestingly, the black woman in the 1400s was the ancestor of the black woman in the 1800's living in New Orleans. I reincarnated on the same ancestral line 4 centuries later. The 1800's hoodoo woman was avenging her ancestors.
That was what she needed to heal.
For another intention, I asked where my allergic rhinitis came from.
I saw a guy wearing a thick furry winter clothes skiing on the snowy mountains. He was a white guy. He aimed to put a flag on top of the mountain, then went down inside a cave where he attempted to light a fire but it was so weak. I also saw a spirit animal in form of a dear guiding him as he slowly froze to death. He kept on sneezing because of the coldness in the mountain, his body slowly numbed and froze.
That's why in this present lifetime, I ain't comfortable with the cold, I like warm weather and I get allergies when it is cold. My random hives outbreak on cold weather was related to that past life.
I asked which pastlife of mine was when I was at my most "powerful".
It brought me to ancient Egyptian times. Date and year unknown.
I am inside a body of a woman sitting on a throne, her arms and legs were polished with golden powder on the skin, shining luminously and bright, clothing, accessories were like of royalty. I cannot tell if I was born into it or not.
Nobody else is allowed to touch me, no one.
I was sitting on a throne to the right. On my left was a man, similar as me with skin polished with golden powder. His eyes closed with thick eyeliner on, his facial features sharp with this eyes deep, and brows thick. Our thrones were located at the top of the stairs with 50-100 steps. All around me was a very big spacious room, with guards on the left and right sides with their backs against the wall. The room was dimly lit by torches lighting the room, behind me was a gigantic golden cauldron where offerings for the gods where being put inside. It was as big as a 3-floor building.
On the stairs was a red carpet. I walked there, went out of a door as high as 3-floors. I walked towards the right then I saw it leading towards a balcony. There outside I can see the skies, it was noon time. The people on the ground were watching us. Looks like there was a feast, they were waiting for a "message to be announced". We were located on the 4th floor.
I looked at the mirror and saw that I had long straight black hair, wearing golden jewelry all over my arms. My face was tanned with eyeliner so dark and prominent. Facial features sharp.
My name was M*tk*s*k*h, an Egyptian chantress living my life for the sole purpose of serving the gods.
On the balcony, I closed my eyes, channeled the gods and say the messages. An old man was beside me, he was a scribe who listens to what I am saying, writes it down on paper, and shows that to the 6'5 tall man on the left who was wearing a black anubis head-dress/mask, his face won't show. He was holding a huge megaphone made of bronze, wherein he announces the things that I see. It seems like I lived my life as a vessel for the messages of these gods.
I didn't know if I had a husband or kids even. I even saw myself sitting on a chair dining on a table that was like 20 feet long, on the other side was the man whom I saw was sitting on my other side on the throne.
I don't know who he was, a husband? A brother? Who knows. In my vision we didn't really talk.
There was a feast on the table but only the two of us were being served. I only ate an apple.
I then saw in my vision that her body was being mummified in advance. Her consciousness was still there. Yes she was still alive as she was being mummified, and I don't understand why, but I got a feeling that as it was happening, she fully accepted this as part of her destiny. There was a carved tomb built for her. She was put inside of it, it was dark, really dark. I experienced her last few breaths, as she was waiting to die there peacefully. She didn't panic. It's as if she was just waiting to lose oxygen until it was over.
She was very powerful intuitively, psychically, a strong channeler and medium.
Cold and aloof, she was lonely, hence she intended that in her next lives, she wanted to experience how it is like to live simply with the freedom to be happy and to choose love the next time.
PS. Photo above has similarity to the said Egyptian past life. Not exactly but similar. People may say that these are all my imagination but they're not. The things I saw I have never seen before, not in any books, films, or TV shows. I don't care what others would think though, doesn't matter. I won't be arguing with anyone else who believes differently. You do you I'll do me.
- Krish Rai
October 20, 2021
Full Moon in Aries
Founder of Astral Crystals.